Today and this week's memories

Wow! I finally decided to journal more here, so it will really be MyMemoriesQuilted, but will leave the name as is and still post my work here for others to see.

This week was a very scary one for us, with regard to Jay. Too close for comfort, lots of tears, anxiety, and relief for us but sadness for another family. My prayers will be with Matt R and his family for a loooooong time to come.

I made a very BIG decision that really had been made by God long ago, but I was letting my "fear clobber my faith" and now I am committed to obeying God. I will need help with the faith but it does seem to be growing.

Lastly, this week I got a letter from myself, send a year ago at church. I read it through joyous tears that this year is better because I have decided it will be no matter what anyone else does. Thank you, God for giving me the strength and for carrying me when I need You. I am humbled by Your love for me.

Shannon

26 Days and Counting...

ok, only 26 more days till Marc and I go to GA to see Jay!! I am so excited! And I am sure Marc is too, but it is not cool to show that much emotion, so....

On another note, Jay's platoon had earned a pizza party but he asked instead if he could make a phone call, so I was able to get a call from him on Saturday! It was great! We talked for about 6 minutes and he sounded so much better. He asks that everyone keep writing, send pictures and short articles of interest. And he said to tell everyone he misses them all.

Well, I have lots of work to do, but keep posted here for new things happening in my crazy, functioning-at-light-speed of a life soon.

Keep Stitchin'

Shannon

Missed....

Oh, today of all days to miss a call from Jay! What a wonderful son to try to call me on my birthday, and I miss his call, twice! I was in a crowed large room and did not hear my phone ring! I am so bummed all I could do was wait for my time to leave, listen to his messages a cry...Still crying... like a big baby. I miss him much more than I though I would. Even though I have been preparing for his growing up since he was a baby, it still hurts so much. If you have been writing Jay, please keep doing so and send any pictures you have. He can also get single sheets of news articles, but not magazines nor books, so send him something interesting to read. No puzzles....last week I sent him a ripped out Sodoku puzzle from the news paper but they would not let him keep it. it helps if he gets mail daily, they really run them ragged and the heat and humidity there is worse than here. Pray for him too, please, he could really use God's help.

That is it for now... I am signing off to finish my crying in peace.

Shannon :-(

Jay Update!!

People who blog, and I include myself here even though I am really new at this, think about how they will title their entry and how they will phrase it, ect. I can not think of anything cute, funny, witty, wise, ect. other than to say we have new news!

We have recently received a few more letters, all stating that he is feeling better, has an inhaler to use as needed, and will be staying. (Mixed feelings) I have also received a form letter from his Battalion Commander giving us the dates for family day and the graduation dates. I will be going for both. The form letter also states to not send boxes yet, even though Jay keeps saying that he can receive them... Gosh I hope he calls today so I can ask him about that.

Well, that is about it. Oh, there is a web site where they post general pictures of his platoon, except it has not been updated and the last groups' pictures are still there. I will post a link on here somewhere so you can see it and hopefully they will update soon.

If you are writing letters, please write often, send pics of you two if you have them.

Thanks,

Shannon

Address and Update

Wahoo! I have mixed feelings about Jay being gone. Mostly now I am worried about his health (asthma) and I miss him terribly. We have an address for him now, so we are able to write. If you want it, please e-mail me at my address on file and I will send it to you, providing we know you. If you know Jay, please write encouraging letters often, he could really use them.

Thanks,

Shannon

Brotherly Secrets....

Well, this is one of many posts about Jay, and today about Marc. As I have told many people, you can find out the updates on Jay by coming to my blog and searching "Jay" in the search engine in the upper left hand corner.

Tomorrow will be 10 days that Jay has been gone... and really I did not expect to talk to him for a few weeks, but I have spoken to him on 2 different days!

On Sunday, while I was helping out at the shop (Fringe), which was just a one time thing, I was petrified that I would miss his call because I had my hands full, no pockets in which to put my phone so I left it open on the counter with the ringer cranked up! And he called! 1st thing he says is that he only has just 3 minutes and so we have to be brief. BRIEF?!?! I have not seen him for 5 days and have so much I still want to say, 3 minutes isn't even gonna scratch the surface. But we cover the following:
1. He has sent us letters but still does not have a return address and won't for another week, but promises to send it when he gets it. Which is good because I have been jotting down schtuff and adding daily to a letter that has grown to over 7 pages and am wondering if it will be a novel by the time I get that address?
2. He says not to come for family "day" bc it is really just 3 hours. But in my Mommy mind I am thinking "Don't tell me what to do, Mister. I will find the cheapest overnight flight and I will be there." So, we will see how that one turns out.
3. He is missing all of us and his life in general, but knows that this is just for 4 years and will be getting allot of great things from this, so he keeps going. Please, if you are a praying person, pray for his continued strength.

So, today I forget to my cell phone with me to a meeting thing, and guess who calls? Yup! Jay!! I have been tethered to my cell phone since he left, fearful that he would get one chance to call and I would miss it, and sure enough as soon as I do he does! Marc told me he had called and left him a message and I tried to call him back, no luck. Then I insisted on hearing the message (bc I just wanted to hear that he was okay) but Marc said "no" because it was private and too bad for me! UGHGHGH. For years these two have been fighting like a cat and dog and they pick NOW to have brotherly secrets! Darn near drove me crazy till I finally got a message from Jay. Luckily, he had his phone for the whole day, so he sent text messages while I was at camp and we talked at 6 and again just before he went to sleep, so I could croak out a lullaby (my voice is still bad...). No new news except that he had his phone because they are moving to the barracks and he had to take all personal things with them.

So that is it. I know he called allot of his friends today and even his Grandma (who was so happy to hear from him). So, this update may not be necessary, but will remind me to post them here when they happen.

Keep in touch and let me know if you need Jay's address once I have it, via e-mail I will send it to you.

Shannon

One of a pair....

Well, the day has finally come... The day I have known about for months (probably really have thought about for years since Jay joined ROTC and loved it) and still do not seemed really well prepared. But how does one prepare for the final growth path of a child? I know he will be coming back, but today he leaves to take the final journey of becoming an adult... on his own.... without me to guide, push, pull and direct along the way... which is good for him because it is truly his. Bad for me as I try to deal with all this heartache and extra emotion. All the cliches' in the world do nto describe nor compare the pain of my heartbreak and even though I have known this was coming, I want to postpone it until I am ready, which, would be never. So, God, in his infinite wisdom, has made Jay strong enough to decide and stick by his convictions. And I realize (at this unGodly hour of 4:30 AM) that as this will be one of his final growing stages into a man, it will be one of my many lessons in life about pain, grief, heartache, submission, acceptance, patience, and many more things I am not even able to think of at this time. Later will be Marc's turn and my heart will break all over again, but I am putting that away for now, one heartache at a time please. All I can do now is pray, entrust him completely to God, write (which strangely does seem to help)and cry when it hurts, bc holding it in seems to hurt more? I will update here about Jay, because he says he will remember to write everybody but has asked me to keep everyone posted when I get his letters, so I have found another useful reason to blog and maybe will remember to blog more often. If you are looking for info about Jay just type in "Jay" in the search area of the main page and the blogs about him will come up and you will not have to wade through all the other ramblings of my mind when it goes out without a leash.

Since I am up this early, maybe i should go work on something? I know I am not going back to sleep anytime soon and it is too early to get ready for work... ho hum.... maybe some fresh coffee and that Dee Henderson novel can help me forget my heartbreak for awhile.

Happy Stitchin'
Shannon

Memorial Day~ Present, & Future

Yes, yes, I know it was yesterday, but I had to get some time to get out some tears and compose my thoughts about it before I could sit down and type.... so here goes my two cents worth:

Monday was Memorial Day, which most know as the day in which we recognize and give thanks to those men and women who have served in the armed forces, some of whom have given the ultimate sacrifice of their lives. I love Memorial Day and I have always been a patriot and fully appreciate all these men and women do. Even when the orders given may not be what the soldier think is right, they still do as commanded, and that takes great strength and discipline. I also love parades. My family groans every year on Thanksgiving as I wake them early to go downtown for the Christmas parade, but I do it bc I just love parades, the floats, marching bands, big balloons, and the closeness I feel standing next to my family watching all go by..... Yesterday we went to the Memorial Day Parade in town I grew up in and in which my mom still lives. I fully expected a somber parade and some moments of joy as the bands would march by; but was I wrong! In the middle of the parade was a float that 3 families had sponsored together for their 3 young sons/husbands/brothers/uncles/(how to go on with all these titles these men must have had...?) who grew up in this town and died in Iraq. At that very moment I realized exactly what I had been dreading all this time..... MY son will be leaving son to go to the Army and most likely to Iraq, and maybe he will not come back. And if he does return he will not be the carefree joyous 18 year old boy whom I have loved a little bit more every day. Even as I write this my heart spills over to tears and I feel somewhat ashamed because I know I am not the only mother to go through this, yet at the same time I am wondering how, HOW do mothers get through this? The women in my family are regular Irish Catholic women who just accept what God gives us as is, so the overflow of emotion is strange but welcome... and darn I am gonna have a whallop of a headache in the AM! Mostly I just needed to get this out and also wanted to give appropriate appreciation and memory to the 3 young men from Aurora, IL who paid the ultimate price in the cost of freedom and democracy that we enjoy. I hope that I have remembered their names correctly (as I am going from memory) and that if read this that you will say a quick prayer for their families and loved ones for them to feel God's healing love. Eduardo Lopez Jr. Jesse De La Torre. Hector Ramos.

I know this is not my usual upbeat banter, but hey, even a mom deserves to cry every now and then...

Shannon